3. I will now write a gross out blog. The first time I held Dylan up in the air and flew her around like an airplane, she grinned and then spit up all over my head. I cleaned myself up and later that day find the liquid all pooled up inside bra. Another time she spit up in my mouth when I leaned over her for a kiss. Robert goes through three shirts a day because she spits up while tree frogging on his chest. I just wear dirty clothes all day. We’re still working through the awkwardness of figuring out what to do with her dirty diapers when I’m visiting friends. I spent a week Googling “green baby poop normal?” Babies are gross, yo, and I haven’t even mentioned any of the really gross parts. On the plus side, we are constantly doing laundry, so things like sheets and towels are technically cleaner, and I doubled the number of showers I take per week, so I guess I’m technically cleaner, too. And now I plan to never speak of these things again, to preserve my baby’s privacy, my own sense of decency, and your well-being.
ContactGot questions or thoughts you want to share in a (slightly) less public forum? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.