Sunday morning peace didn’t come easy to me and Robert. In Robert’s perfect world, Sunday is a day for going out for a nice breakfast, with hot coffee to prepare for a long day of running errands doing the chores that didn’t get taken care of the rest of the week: laundry, vacuuming, and going to the store. In the Mormon world in which I was raised, Sunday is a day for eating breakfast at home, cold cereal and no cups of hot anything to prepare for three hours of church and a long day of doing the things you wouldn’t do the rest of the week: writing letters, talking to family and friends, and napping. We try to finish our work, and also our play, on Saturday, so Sunday doesn’t become like every other day of the week.
I would never tell Robert he can’t do something on a Sunday, but I push to take care of our chores earlier in the week so that I’m not stuck running to the store if he needs something while he’s cooking dinner and so I don’t have to hear the vacuum running when I’m reading. Over time, he gradually adopted the mindset that we work on Saturday and stay in on Sunday, even for brunch. That didn’t automatically make for peaceful mornings, though. After we got married, Robert felt trapped and bored in the apartment, and started playing video games or watching sports on Sundays. I hated it. I mean, I wasn’t one of those people who didn’t watch TV, but I liked to listen to classical music, and didn’t turn on the TV until after dinner. Our apartment wasn’t big enough, or soundproof enough, to accommodate both of these approaches, and we spent months Sunday mornings disturbing each other’s peace.
In the last few months, we’ve settled into a Sunday morning routine based on compromise. The TV stays off, but we listen to folk music instead of classical. We don’t go out for breakfast, but Robert makes oatmeal or pancakes (with pecans and bananas and bourbon that he sometimes lights on fire). We don’t write letters, but we read do read magazines. I still go to church, but I’ve embraced leaving the apartment for other things: a long walk, Robert might drink coffee, and I drink hot herbal tea, to prepare ourselves for our favorite day of the week.