Everything You Wanted To Know But Were Afraid To Ask

I don’t have a FAQ section on my blog, because people don’t really ask me a lot of questions. I know that people come here with questions, though. I know this because WordPress tracks the search terms that lead people to my blog. I love this. I think most bloggers probably feel similarly. A lot of the search terms are phrased as questions. I figured I’d add question marks and taking a stab at answering some of the queries that bring people here.

Why are Mormons so happy? Because we have a community to lean on. Because we have something to hope for. Because we shun uncertainty in favor of faith. Because it is part of our culture to smile, even when we don’t feel like it. We are not all as happy as you think. I have more authentic and specific answers to this question, but I don’t want to speak for the other members of my faith. So next time you meet a happy Mormon, ask them why they are that way. They will be thrilled to tell you.

How to wear teal eyeliner? Don’t.

How to act around Mormons? Just be normal. We are.

How often do people think about food? All the time. Especially when you’re a Mormon and don’t drink.

What is the hardest thing about being a lawyer? The billable hours. Closely followed by the difficulty of separating work from life in a career that can too easily define everything about you.

How to survive family vacation? Relax. Let go. Let your family be.

Why go to law school? Because you want to be a lawyer. That is the only good reason. Unless you’ve got three years and over $100,000 to waste.

Why I hated law school? Because law students and professors (and lawyers, too, it turns out) are a lot of type-A competitive jerks.

What are the social expectations of marriage 2011? That is a big question. I don’t know that there is a single set of social expectations for marriage these days. There is probably a set of expectations within your community/sub-culture. In my Mormon community, the expectation is that you will get married in a temple, and then they have kids. Men marry women. Men work. Women don’t. Everybody reads the scriptures together and plays board games and is happy forever. In my non-Mormon community, lots of people aren’t married at my age. When they get married, they do it outside, or in a barn. Both partners work, but the man (if there is one), makes more money than the woman. Women keep their names. They get dogs, and then they have kids. Everybody has dinner parties and plays board games and is happy forever. I guess that’s the one expectation that spans varied demographics: marriage is supposed to make you happy.

What is the requirement under the by law on the name to practice? this is a poorly worded question.

What normal couples do? Play. Eat. Fight. Have sex. Sleep.

What happened in Tucson? In March 2005, I met the inestimable Robert Ford. In August 2010, we got married. I don’t know how much good has happened since we left.

How to talk to a Mormon? Again, be normal.

How to talk like a Mormon? I don’t know if you can. Our language comes from years of Sunday School, and family home evenings, and bearing testimony, and ice cream socials, and girls’ camps, and youth dances, and firesides, and too-long prayers, and a culture that frowns on swears, but readily substitutes them with less offensive epithets (fetch, freak, heck, dang, etc.).

How to survive law firm life? Find a new job.

Was the Ann Arbor rapist caught? I don’t think so. And that pisses me off.

How can I announce that I’m no longer Mormon? Go here and here to hear from people who’ve already done that. And good luck to you.

Why blog for women? I write so that I can figure out how to be human. Women make up a good chunk of the world’s population. You can’t ignore us. You can’t ignore the fact of our sex, or gender. If I’m not writing for women, I’m not writing for people. And I can’t expect that anybody else is going to write for me.

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1 Response to Everything You Wanted To Know But Were Afraid To Ask

  1. Ru says:

    You get some seriously good questions. Most of mine are about Project Runway and Game of Thrones.

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