Earlier this week I wrote about the thing that most scared me about marriage.
Today I want to write about one of the things I most looked forward to: no more solo plane rides. We did holidays together when we were dating sometimes, but more often we flew to our own families for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We took vacations together sometimes, but they were almost always quick road trips. We racked up the miles flying back and forth to see each other the times we didn’t live in the same state. And, on top of that, I was jet setting around for conferences and job interviews and family weddings. We did this even in the weeks before the wedding, booking separate flights on separate days even though our destination was the same.
After years of feeling like our relationship wasn’t quite as real as everybody else’s — because we weren’t married or engaged, because we didn’t even live together, because he wasn’t a member of my faith — I ached for a way to show the world that what we had was just as good and just as real as any other relationship. I guess the ring on my finger should’ve been enough, or the fact that his family had welcomed me into their home (and mine had welcomed him) since the beginning. What I really wanted, pined for, really, was to hurry up and get the wedding business over with and our first night as husband and wife in a haunted hotel (really!) and the morning-after brunch with our families and step on that plane back to Chicago hand in hand. At last we’d suffer through security lines together and I wouldn’t have to beg strangers to trade seats with me. We would be legit. And we were legit, on every single one of the seven plane rides we took in the next few weeks. I never got around to making my name match his on the tickets, but that didn’t make finally having a traveling companion any less awesome.
Of course, as luck would have it, my job has had me traveling solo more than I ever did before we got married (and more than I ever thought I would as a lawyer — why did I have the impression that lawyers were chained to desks and/our courtrooms?). It’s all rental cars and rumpled suits and room service in front of the TV, by which I mean it’s not glamorous. Even so, I wish he were there.
Tomorrow we are taking our first together vacation since I started work. We will be flying to Houston, which is also not glamorous, but I’m told there will be food, family, and sun. And as long as we’re flying out together, I couldn’t really ask for more.