Do you have that friend who makes you feel like your life is just utterly pedestrian? That insanely cool person who won’t give it a rest? Sunday morning brunches, Thursday evening benefits, Saturday karaoke, trips to Europe, worked for a nonprofit, lives in a loft, throws baby showers and engagement parties, sees obscure indie bands play in underground locations, has one thousand friends, and also happens to be kind, generous, and loving? That person is the worst.
Last week I was talking to this friend, let’s call her W, about budgeting and cutting back on expenses, particularly cabs. I humblebragged that I never take cabs, I’m a public transit girl through and through. “But what do you do when you’re out at 2 am and it’s time to go home?” “Oh friend, the last time I was out after midnight was two years ago and I was with you. You saw me heading to the train and put me in a cab instead and that was the last time I spent $20 just to get home.”
A few weeks before that a mutual friend asked if I could recommend a waxing salon, and I turned to W because she is a style and personal hygiene guru. She passed on her recommendation to both of us. I thought about pointing out that I cut my hair every other year, don’t wear makeup, and have been with the same man for 8.5 years, and therefore will not be waxing anything anytime soon, but opted to pocket the information instead.
Last Friday, I posted a picture of our Christmas jigsaw puzzle on Instagram and W commented that 1,000 pieces was quite bold. I know she was admiring (envying?) our jigsaw skills, but in that moment occurred to me that I could probably stand to do something a little more bold on a Friday night than curling up doing a 1,000 piece jigsaw and binge-watching The League.
And I’d like to preempt anybody who might be tempted to blame Dylan for this, because I’ve been this boring for years.
Thank goodness I’ve got friends like W to liven things up.